.... where Central Park is green and the rest is gritty! Because it's family vacation time and this year is road trip to Manhattan. As in bust ass Jeep driving straight over those goddamn Smoky Mountains and into NYC sorta road trip. I know I know, a ten day road trip with a teen/tween and husband will be the death of me but it's an excuse to wear all those sundresses crammed up in the closet.
 What's really REALLY sad is that I wasn't even aware that razorart  had moved out of Brooklyn! Or that ozmaofoz is taking off with her family to OKC!

 Wow, that's an old pic. I can't remember even owning a webcam. ozmaofoz  wasn't even a mother back then. But we did both have black hair. Or blue or something similar. Anyway, Happy Mother's Day.

 I treated myself to four new well made bras today, after months of squeezing into substandard Target purchases. Just because the label says 38D doesn't mean it's structurally sound to support that burden securely. One of my new ones is a strapless blush pink concoction that has more suspension and trussels than the Brooklyn bridge. Like good cosmetics, appropriate walking shoes and well matched haircuts, don't skimp on the important things. Your boobies will thank you.

Oh my gawd. The point of this pic is to demonstrate the rippling and puckering of my skin due to this incredibly painful yet effective glycolic mask by Serious Skin Care. It BURNS IT BURNS as you apply it, then vacuum sucks into the pores and really clears that shit up. I have no idea why my face is so red all the time, hrm. Seriously though, my facial skin is translucently pale but everything else tans like crazy, so I end up with this Frankenstein patchwork of skin in the summertime, like a burn victim with corpse skin graphs. I also get this horrid blotching on my cheeks/eye area referred to as a Pregnancy Mask , jeez, I thought going off the pill would stop that. The goth in me hates the tan but I'm lazy with the sunblock and !for god's sake man! I drive a convertible. Anywho, DDF products with glycolic and Serious Skin Care is really worth the cost if you have adult acne (coff!) and pore and flaking issues (coff! coff!).
 I also have the thinnest, saddest eyelashes. Weep for me, my Sisters.

 

Lucy likes my Bauhaus shirts. She said the Demeter fragrance "Wet Garden" was a bit much, though.
We visited ozmaofoz and held sum behbehs then bought some sprawling type roses and black pepper plants n such from Buchanan's native plant nursery. Is it Sunday night already? I spent the last two nights at sporting events until way too long after dark. If I wanted to stay out late surrounded by noise and boringness, I'd go to a club. At least then I'd have a reason to wear my false eyelashes and wouldn't have 10 eight year olds behind me screaming things like "The Brewers suck!" and "Imagine a giant butthole in your mouth"! and hitting me in the back of the head with those fucking foam fingers. Well, at least not in the clubs *I* go to.....

 Who says I don't know how to treat my friends? filterfactor  was in town for a few days so naturally... we went a-shootin'.  I'm hoping for a Mossberg pistol grip 500 rrrrrriot gun for Mother's Day. Oh and some flowers.
I'm making some Team America shirts for our next trip out. I never have male friends who want to shoot.

 Last night I dreamed that I had sex with Jeremy Sisto. Nothing earth shaking or hot, more like awkward twenty-something just-brought-you-home-from-the-bar-but-now-I'm-sobering-up-and-this-is-icky sex. He was a teenager in the dream and I asked him if I was hurting him, to which he answered something vague and then I woke up. Not a big Sisto fan though he is in one of my favorite films: "May". 
 Hey yeah, I also took my girls to that Zac Efron movie. So, so very unfunny and wrong. Did my 10yr old really need to hear "douchebag" and Zac Efron remark on someone having "a tiny weiner"? Again, not that we're big fans but the trailer made it out to be much more amusing than it actually was.
 "Aventureland" was an awesome movie, highly recommend it for those like myself who listened to Velvet Underground as a teen . Husband said it was mopey and unrealistic, as if someone would up and move to a strange city to be with a person they loved and leave everything behind. Pffft, yeah, really, like someone would do THAT.

 Here I am at my daughter's three day sailing camp on the bay. Did I mention that I was there for THREE DAYS?
 I have a new cut with tons of short layers, sort of a take on the "emo cut" but not dyed black. Husband says it's a mullet and that I might be mistaken for a professional womens basketball coach. Humph.
 I dropped off one of my foster dogs, Puddin', to her new home and had a moment of deja vu while I was kneeling in the grass in this guy's yard, trying to pick up a rawhide before Pud and the other dog started a fight over the nasty raggedy thing. Odd.

 To celebrate my dear old friend filterfactor  leaving Texas for an awesome new job, we loaded up the Jeep with guns of every caliber and took the family to Bailey's House of Guns and shot up the ole tire pile. Seriously.
 I call this one "Where not to hold the stock of the 20gauge shot gun..."

 I wuv guns.
 And why yes, that IS the same Bauhaus shirt that I wore to the birth of ozmaofoz 's baby Lucy a few weeks ago. Thus it's my official Birthin' and Shootin' all purpose Gothin' shirt.

 

 It's not NOLA, but Galveston parades are awesome anyway. Beads, rain & Texas Tea.

When she comes to greet me
she is mercy at my feet
I see her inner charm
she just throws it back at me

We were invited to walk in the Galveston Dickens on the Strand parade this year. I don't know why more mourning clothing isn't seen, it's an easy costume and we got a gazillion snapshots taken. Some lady screamed,"Witches! Look at the witches!" and I had to stop and scream back,"We're in MOURNING, not witches!" I mean, christ on a crutch, I though anyone who would pay to attend a Victorian festival would understand that.
Yesh, I am still bitchy.

I can walk the dawg where I want, when I want.

My foster pit bull terrier, Gypsy. Yes, she is always this goofy.

We spent spring break at Palo Duro Canyon, the second largest canyon in the US, a little south of Amarillo, Tx. Which is the square panhandle top of Texas for you Yankees. As nice as the arid region was to my skin (hey, my vegan deodorant actually worked in this climate), it is boring as HELL in North Texas. Amarillo does have a vegan restaraunt, which kept odd hours, and we stopped at a hip yet overpriced one in Ft. Worth on the way up. Otherwise, it was a lot of peanut butter crackers, cookies, bananas and oatmeal for me. I paid my mom to clean up a bit so we came home to a reasonably tidy livingroom and none of the pets died, so it's been a nice week. Resident Male took the Jeep into a 3ft sink hole at the offroad park but failed to get a YouTube worthy video of it, mostly as I was having a heart attack at the thought of being stuck in a 4x4 park on Easter with almost no one to pull us out. Sort of justifies that $1000 winch set up, right?

Yes, the way they hold their weapons in "Wanted" is about as realistic as Jolie's physical appearance but I need to study how she does the riot gun out the window stunt so that I can fold down my Jeep's window and recreate it.
PS In case you've never actually shot a handgun, you cannot accurately hit your target with it SIDEWAYS. L-O-L. Seriously though, I have seen dudes show up at the range (usually with a 9mm) and hold it sideways. I move away quickly before they panick at the recoil.

Dizzy

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